Disstandad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, clever grasshopper.

Disstandad created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disstandad, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Disstandad, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Disstandad's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Disstandad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tapirs.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never eat green fruit.