Wipfitfly is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent giraffe.

Wipfitfly created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipfitfly, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wipfitfly, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Wipfitfly's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Wipfitfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about foxes.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Feed all hungry turtles.