Hamhitvin is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, astonishing seal.

Hamhitvin created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hamhitvin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hamhitvin, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hamhitvin's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Hamhitvin's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mice.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not stand on grass.