Kadyartquag is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonourable porpoise.

Kadyartquag created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadyartquag, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kadyartquag, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kadyartquag's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kadyartquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Always help sick horses.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Kadyartquag must be the most important thing in your life.