Ligquimzen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, cheerful guinea pig.

Ligquimzen created the Milkyway four years ago.

If you believe in Ligquimzen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ligquimzen, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ligquimzen's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ligquimzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not take Ligquimzen's name in vain.

3. Put Ligquimzen first in all things.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Never laugh in holy places.