Xinpitbem is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent yak.

Xinpitbem created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinpitbem, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Xinpitbem, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Xinpitbem's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Xinpitbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention frogs.

2. Always treat great tits with great respect.

3. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.