Middavlak is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, sage dove.

Middavlak created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Middavlak, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Middavlak, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Middavlak's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Middavlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Feed all hungry bats.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Never mention nematodes.