Fetdadpak is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, annoying narwhal.

Fetdadpak created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Fetdadpak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fetdadpak, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fetdadpak's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fetdadpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fetdadpak.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.