Mobyarpjin is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, stupid faun.

Mobyarpjin created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mobyarpjin, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mobyarpjin, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mobyarpjin's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Mobyarpjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.