Tettikamril is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthoughtful capybara.

Tettikamril created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Tettikamril, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tettikamril, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tettikamril's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tettikamril's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tettikamril.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never run near tortoises.