Tipvonkopxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise fly.

Tipvonkopxuc created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipvonkopxuc, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tipvonkopxuc, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tipvonkopxuc's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tipvonkopxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never sit near pigs.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Tipvonkopxuc must be the most important thing in your life.