Quamrengon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid hydra.

Quamrengon created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Quamrengon, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quamrengon, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quamrengon's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Quamrengon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Worship no other gods but Quamrengon.

4. Retreat if three voles approach from the west.

5. Never feed coconuts to foxes while wearing green stockings.