Wappitdan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, vain jellyfish.

Wappitdan created gold nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wappitdan, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wappitdan, she will remove you from existence.

Wappitdan's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Wappitdan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Never talk about aardvarks.

5. Worship no other gods but Wappitdan.