Nadhinlakarn Kimtandamsit is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, wise dolphin.

Nadhinlakarn Kimtandamsit created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nadhinlakarn Kimtandamsit, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nadhinlakarn Kimtandamsit, she will boil you in a big pot.

Nadhinlakarn Kimtandamsit's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Nadhinlakarn Kimtandamsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.