Tim is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, deceitful fly.

Tim created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Tim, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tim, it will remove you from existence.

Tim's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Tim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tim first in all things.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Retreat if six seals approach from the north.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.