Xemflatgat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, cheerful yak.

Xemflatgat created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemflatgat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xemflatgat, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xemflatgat's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Xemflatgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

5. Always wear white.