Arpkonbod is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, moody ferret.

Arpkonbod created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Arpkonbod, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Arpkonbod, she will send minions to preach to you.

Arpkonbod's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Arpkonbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Arpkonbod on top of important buildings.

4. Hide from brown dogs for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.