Farnhabtarg is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, slow squid.

Farnhabtarg created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnhabtarg, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Farnhabtarg, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Farnhabtarg's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Farnhabtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always take life seriously.