Quarthitmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, compassionate crow.

Quarthitmeg created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Quarthitmeg, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quarthitmeg, he will send you a sign.

Quarthitmeg's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Quarthitmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Run away from yellow mice, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat bark.