Ripvilpop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty dog.

Ripvilpop created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ripvilpop, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ripvilpop, she will strike you with lightening.

Ripvilpop's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ripvilpop's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ripvilpop.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.