Bisstannurl is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, overgenerous lobster.

Bisstannurl created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Bisstannurl, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bisstannurl, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bisstannurl's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bisstannurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Worship no other gods but Bisstannurl.

4. You must pray to Bisstannurl five times a day.

5. Do not commit murder.