Nelboddon is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, humane skunk.

Nelboddon created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelboddon, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nelboddon, it will turn you into a frog.

Nelboddon's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Nelboddon's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Feed all hungry whales.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never pour water over plants.