Tunrag Tapvinkip is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, caring dolphin.

Tunrag Tapvinkip created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunrag Tapvinkip, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tunrag Tapvinkip, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tunrag Tapvinkip's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Tunrag Tapvinkip's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never paint your head white.

4. Never mention sharks.

5. Never pour water over plants.