Quartcudhub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish lobster.

Quartcudhub created the Andromeda Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartcudhub, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quartcudhub, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Quartcudhub's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Quartcudhub's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are not to be trusted.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quartcudhub.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always take life seriously.