Bonkxucktombaptimsandstipkom is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unsympathetic swallow.

Bonkxucktombaptimsandstipkom created a strange quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkxucktombaptimsandstipkom, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bonkxucktombaptimsandstipkom, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bonkxucktombaptimsandstipkom's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bonkxucktombaptimsandstipkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sharks.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Do not make images of living things.