Gabfemcin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish troll.

Gabfemcin created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabfemcin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gabfemcin, it will turn you into a slug.

Gabfemcin's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Gabfemcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not kill cats.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always help mites.

5. Never talk about gravity.