Flowarpsit is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited toad.

Flowarpsit created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowarpsit, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flowarpsit, it will send you a sign.

Flowarpsit's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Flowarpsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to sharks while wearing cyan corsets.

2. Do not take Flowarpsit's name in vain.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never write about planets.