Tabguppibcat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic penguin.

Tabguppibcat created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tabguppibcat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tabguppibcat, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tabguppibcat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tabguppibcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never talk about sheep.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Always help nematodes in need.