Cebrowfiggutingbastquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful pig.

Cebrowfiggutingbastquaf created silver seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebrowfiggutingbastquaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cebrowfiggutingbastquaf, he will turn you into a plant.

Cebrowfiggutingbastquaf's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Cebrowfiggutingbastquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed limes to shrews while wearing pink jumpers.