Loopnulgab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish gorilla.

Loopnulgab created a charm quark two years ago.

If you believe in Loopnulgab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Loopnulgab, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Loopnulgab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Loopnulgab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Horses are not to be trusted.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.