Gonjabhap is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, idiotic grasshopper.

Gonjabhap created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonjabhap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonjabhap, it will strike you with lightening.

Gonjabhap's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Gonjabhap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gonjabhap.

3. Run away if seven moths approach from the north.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never paint your chest magenta.