Arttikart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, duplicitous hamster.

Arttikart created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Arttikart, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arttikart, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Arttikart's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Arttikart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look after injured shrews.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.