Dintarmon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, vain owl.

Dintarmon created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dintarmon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dintarmon, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dintarmon's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Dintarmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Never jump near tortoises.

4. Run away if three ducks approach from the west.

5. Do not covet oxen.