Gankengil is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, smart raccoon.

Gankengil created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gankengil, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gankengil, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Gankengil's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gankengil's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never mention pigs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.