Tettimabmutpakbigjarnsad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, staggering chicken.

Tettimabmutpakbigjarnsad created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettimabmutpakbigjarnsad, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tettimabmutpakbigjarnsad, he will jump up and down on your head.

Tettimabmutpakbigjarnsad's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Tettimabmutpakbigjarnsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.