Gumdumrat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, benevolent warg.

Gumdumrat created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumdumrat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gumdumrat, he will turn you into a worm.

Gumdumrat's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gumdumrat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick great tits.

2. You must never eat pineapples.

3. Never hurt moths.

4. Never talk about whales.

5. Always treat porpoises with great respect.