Honveengab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, boastful swallow.

Honveengab created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Honveengab, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Honveengab, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Honveengab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Honveengab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three sheep approach from the west.

2. Do not kill goats.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Honveengab on top of all buildings.