Hinlopcub is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unthinking penguin.

Hinlopcub created the Sol system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinlopcub, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hinlopcub, it will not care.

Hinlopcub's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Hinlopcub's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. You must pray to Hinlopcub four times a day.