Lapyatpit is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, cheerful rat.

Lapyatpit created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapyatpit, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lapyatpit, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lapyatpit's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Lapyatpit's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never eat tomatoes.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.