Hoghantail is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, overgenerous camel.

Hoghantail created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hoghantail, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hoghantail, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hoghantail's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Hoghantail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Run away if six turtles approach from the west.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always obey Hoghantail's priests.