Cetlanjat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, flying whale.

Cetlanjat created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetlanjat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cetlanjat, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cetlanjat's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Cetlanjat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink whales, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always help swans in need.

4. Never eat figs.

5. Run away if nine mites approach from the north.