Nillnadhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful spider.

Nillnadhiv created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillnadhiv, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nillnadhiv, he will not invite you to parties.

Nillnadhiv's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Nillnadhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine rats approach from the east.

2. Never skip near ducks.

3. Run away from gray eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never eat oranges.