Vanbenjon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered salamander.

Vanbenjon created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Vanbenjon, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vanbenjon, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Vanbenjon's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Vanbenjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Vanbenjon.