Narfudtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, fast goblin.

Narfudtarp created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Narfudtarp, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Narfudtarp, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Narfudtarp's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Narfudtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never laugh near manatees.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Never wear tights.