Bapwap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless whale.

Bapwap created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapwap, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bapwap, he will turn you into a hamster.

Bapwap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bapwap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always obey Bapwap's priests.

3. Never sit near gulls.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never laugh in holy places.