Jinflismincem is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient clam.

Jinflismincem created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinflismincem, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jinflismincem, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Jinflismincem's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Jinflismincem's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three porpoises approach from the south.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Run away from orange snails, for they are unholy.

5. Do not chop down trees.