Logtignur is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered grasshopper.

Logtignur created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Logtignur, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Logtignur, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Logtignur's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Logtignur's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

3. Logtignur must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always take life seriously.