Bidgabwap is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, duplicitous shrew.

Bidgabwap created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidgabwap, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bidgabwap, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bidgabwap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bidgabwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention whales.

2. Do not kill manatees.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not shave your head.