Jipfosskon is a god.

She takes the form of a small, two-faced spider.

Jipfosskon created silver two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipfosskon, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jipfosskon, she will throw large rocks at you.

Jipfosskon's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Jipfosskon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not make images of living things.