Hamkincub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, competent monkey.

Hamkincub created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamkincub, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hamkincub, she will curse you with boils.

Hamkincub's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hamkincub's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hamkincub first in all things.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.